Not What You Plan For

By on 12-14-2012 in Everything

I had planned to post pictures of things I spun this week, strips I sewed together (only 2) and chatter about knitting and fabric and giveaways… However my heart is heavy and those things seem horribly inappropriate when measured against a backdrop of loss. My heart aches for Mothers and Fathers, Sisters and Brothers who have had their family broken and forever changed. My heartfelt prayers are with them now and will continue to be for them. In times like these people tweet about their anger and rage, they post about their disbelief and sadness, they stare in horrorstruck wonder at their tv screens. We can not process this. I don’t think our minds were meant to. Our hearts break, as they should. My eyes hurt from tears shed and want of more tears to give.

If you have been affected by this horror and lost a cherished one, I regret to my depths I can not be close enough to hug you. Even more I wish that I could remove this from your shoulders, giving you  a moment to let you catch a breath unaffected by hurt. I wish I could give you the gift of yesterday to relive, time with someone you lost.  If you have not lost a loved one or personal friend in this you have still been hurt by it, I know. Today is your gift with your loved ones. Cherish it in honor of those who are not in your fortunate position.

This is so little to offer and so poorly worded. Every inch of me hurts and wants to fix it. And the crushing weight is the reality that I can not. And so with you I weep. I do not look for a brighter sunrise. Today I believe is a time to acknowledge despair and grieve.

In Sorrow,

Mel

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22 Comments

  1. Well said, Mel. Thank you for showing and sharing your heart.
    E-hug. Virginia

  2. You have said it better than me! I am not a TV watcher and don’t read the news on the computer, so i am often ‘out of touch’ but not bc i don’t want to be just bc i would rather spend my time elsewhere than before primetime. So, when i heard the news i was in a state of ‘unbelief’. . . . .having not ‘seen’ it, just reading about it in the paper and hearing from others causes me to hope they got it wrong. It did happen, though, and so my heart aches, wishing i could erase all the pain.

  3. Thank you Mel. You have expressed so beautifully what we all feel but cannot express.

  4. Mel,
    You are not shedding tears alone. Horrific is a minor description of the pain the parents and teachers’ families must feel. The horror that the little ones in the school will carry with them forever will leave a mental scar for sure. How can they ever be reassured of their own safety…and the teachers who learn to love each student in their classroom…how will they live with such an unspeakable tragedy? My energies are wrapped up in concern for the families, the sisters and brothers of these little angels.
    How very, very sad.

  5. I agree wholeheartedly with all you said. Thanks for sharing your heart and putting my feelings into words so much better than I ever could!

  6. You’ve described it so touchingly and so beautifully. Thank you.

  7. Dear Mel,

    I cry and pray with you.

    Peace,
    Mimi

  8. My heart breaks to hear what happened in Connecticut and in Oregon. What is happening in the US? Each day is a gift.

  9. Love and hugs to all. . .as it appears we are all in this together. Allow yourself and others their feelings, and let the tears and prayers flow free. Blessings

  10. I left work today and the news on the radio told me of the horrors happening.
    I can not begin to comprehend what pain, anguish, and dispair those touched by this tragedy are feeling right now. I had the ability to complete my trip home and hug my son. He was a little perplexed at the intensity if my greeting, but at 9 I don’t feel the need to tell him the details of the nightmare unfolding on the other side if the Atlantic. Suffice to say, my thoughts and prayers are with every soul touched by what happened today. There are no words I can say to make this better, so I won’t try; but I’m thinking of you all and hugging my little man that bit harder.

  11. Eloquently put, my thoughts exactly. Love to you all.

  12. So true Mel , they are all in my prayers.

  13. This morming Was at funeral service of my much loved brother, so didn’t hear news until much later. My brother’s death was so sudden and unexpected, still he had a good full 64 years. These dear children who’s biggest worry was being good for Santa leave such short memories of time, where as I have 60 years of love, laughter and kinship.
    Mel your words are very comforting and I thank you

  14. my stomach is twisted in knots. The news was so tragic.

  15. I hadn’t seen the news of the shooting, but Dec. 14 is my cousin’s birthday. He died a few months ago, leaving two preschool aged kids and a young wife. I had been thinking a lot about loss and tragedy already, and your words make a difference to my family as well.

    Having looked at the news, I am shocked and horrified about this incredible tragedy. That so many families will be going what we went through is unthinkable to me.

  16. Just waking up here in Oz to hear the news. So sad. My heart goes out to those affected. It is unfathomable..

  17. As a teacher, I can imagine the vital energy of those children moments before the horrific event. I can appreciate the teacher’s fervored protection, and the resulting horror and helplessness in the face of brutal sheer force. As I watched this I choked on the emotions of desperation of the parents as they searched for thir kids. I also empathize with the terror the other students must have felt as they ran to the safety of the firehouse. So incredibly sad, my heart breaks for all of us, whether we were directly or indirectly involved. Prayers and blessings.

  18. your concern and depth of feelings radiated from the screen
    a good expression of how we all should feel
    hugs and love
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxx<3

  19. Perfectly put. Thank you for your beautiful words.

  20. Beautifully stated, Mel. It’s unfathomable

  21. Mel, this was beautifully worded and spoken from the heart. It is truly tragic. “The gift of yesterday to relive…” “Today is your gift with your loved ones.” Echoing your words and feeling like my own fail me right now.

  22. You’ve said it all, beautifully.
    This is so tragic. Unbelievably horrific…

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